


The Obvious Solution to Obliviousness is Kittens, Obviously

by crossroadswrite



Series: Howls From Last Night [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, Pining Derek Hale, Pining Stiles Stilinski, Texts From Last Night, kitties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 10:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4476344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossroadswrite/pseuds/crossroadswrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>(708): This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.<br/>(409): Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pastime.</b><br/>.<br/>When Doctor Deaton calls Scott to come pick Stiles up, he’s not really sure what to expect.</p>
<p>Stiles was supposed to be over at Derek’s watching the ball game and pretending not to be in love with him, not here doing whatever the hell it is he’s doing.</p>
<p>He slowly pushes the back door open and sees Stiles on the floor with about seven cats on top of him, petting them and cooing into their soft fur.</p>
<p>“Stiles,” he says carefully, “what are you doing?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Obvious Solution to Obliviousness is Kittens, Obviously

When Doctor Deaton calls Scott to come pick Stiles up, he’s not really sure what to expect.

Stiles was supposed to be over at Derek’s watching the ball game and pretending not to be in love with him, not here doing whatever the hell it is he’s doing.

He slowly pushes the back door open and sees Stiles on the floor with about seven cats on top of him, petting them and cooing into their soft fur.

“Stiles,” he says carefully, “what are you doing?”

Stiles blinks lazily at him and oh yeah, he’s drunk. He’s super drunk. His best friend broke into the animal clinic to pet cats while drunk.

Well, Scott guesses it’s better than when he does it sober.

“Petting cats. Cats are nice, don’t you think, Scott. Cats don’t betray you. I love cats. They’re so much better than dogs.”

Scott edges a little closer to him and then decides to just sit down and pile two or three kitties on his lap.

Stiles only pets cats when he’s upset about something. Otherwise he’d choose puppies.

“I thought you were at Derek’s watching baseball. You love baseball. The Mets are playing!”

Stiles rubs his face against a cat, “Fuck baseball,” he says, “getting drunk and playing with kittens is the _real_ national pastime.”

Scott frowns and tilts his head, watching his best friend as he curls a finger to scratch a kitty under the chin.

“I should adopt a cat,” he muses, “I should adopt all the cats, since I’m going to _die alone_.”

Scott puts another cat on Stiles because it looks like he needs it.

“Okay what happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Stiles pouts.

“Stiles,” Scott sighs.

Stiles groans loudly and topples over into the floor, grabbing two cats and covering his face with their soft bellies.

One of the cats hisses in discontent and hops off Stiles’ face, swishing its tail as it walks away.

“Why does everyone leave me,” Stiles whines, “Scott, Scotty, I love you, man. Don’t leave me Scotty, okay.”

Scott pats him on the leg, “Sure, buddy.”

“Scotty, I’m sad.”

“I can tell,” he says and places a sleeping cat on Stiles’ chest.

“You’re a good bro, Scotty.”

Scott’s phone goes off and he fishes it out of his pocket to pick it up.

“Have you seen Stiles?” Derek’s mildly panicked voiced demands.

“Whosit? If it’s Derek tells him he’s a poopy face.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen Stiles,” Scott says, frowning down at his friend.

“Is he okay?”

“ Kinda drunk. He’s petting kitties, though.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Derek growls into the receiver.

“Everyone’s okay when they pet kitties, Derek.”

Scott doesn’t know how Derek doesn’t have this knowledge. Maybe he should bring some kitties for Derek to pet.

“Are you at the clinic?” Derek demands.

“Yeah. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to com-“

“Shut up, Scott,” Derek snaps and then hangs up.

“ _Rude_.”

“Right!” Stiles says suddenly, eyes going wide and bolting upright one finger in the air in what looks like his personal Eureka moment, “Right, he’s so _rude_. And mean! He’s so mean. Very mean because he doesn’t give me his mushrooms from his pizza. Who does that to a person! Who! And he gets pissy about his pop tarts, the _weirdo_.

“And- and his _bunny teeth_! His bunny teeth, Scotty! Those are so rude. He bites his lip with them when he’s trying not to smile. Because- because he has no _manners_ , ya know. Who even _likes_ Derek.

“No one! No one likes Derek. I don’t like Derek, he’s mean. Kissing people and then saying he’s sorry, like, who does that?! No one does that! Derek does that and he’s _mean_.

“Because- _because he’s not mean at all._ I really like Derek, Scotty. Ya know?”

Scott nods in supporting, “Yeah, I know, bro.”

“Right. You know! You’re so smart, Scotty,” Stiles coos, crawling on his knees forward and starting to pet his hair.

He lets Stiles wind down a little bit before he asks, “So. Derek kissed you?”

Stiles nods sadly, leaning over against Scott.

“I wasn’t even doing anything. I was just watching the game. I swear, Scotty. I was watching the game and he was just there laughing at my bad jokes. And then I looked at him. And he looked at me, and I looked at him. And he looked at me- Like in the song! You know the song, right?”

Scott snorts, “Yeah, I know the song.”

Stiles nods proudly and gives him a few extra pats. Scott is just thankful this time he isn’t trying to feed him dog biscuits.

“Right, so we were there-“

“Looking at each other.”

“Right. Looking at each other and we were really close. I don’t know when we got that close. But like _super_ close and then Derek leaned forward and smooched me. In the face! In the lip-al area! With his _lips_.”

“And then he apologized?” Scott hazards.

“ _And then he apologized_ ,” Stiles says completely scandalized, “I mean- I know I’m not the _most_ attractive person, but- but I thought Derek might like me. Maybe. Someday. But then he kissed me and he _regretted it_.”

“You actual moron,” Derek throws the door open and grumbles.

Stiles flails so hard he smacks Scott in the face and almost crushes a little kitty. Scott swoops in to its rescue and holds it to his chest.

“Save me, Scott!” Stiles yelps, ducking behind Scott’s back and biting the fabric of his shirt.

Scott sighs, points at Derek, “Please tell him you’re disgustingly in love with him so I can have my shirt back and not get fired, please.”

“Shut up, Scott,” Derek grumbles but you see, Scott is a werewolf too. He can see the blush in his ears and hear the tripping of his heart. He can _hear_ how his breathing becomes just a little bit quicker.

Scott is not particularly impressed with him. He doesn’t even know how long those two have been dancing around each other. It feels like _millennia_.

“Scott, could you just-“ Derek makes an aborted move and shifts a little on his feet, it’s the slightest of things, almost imperceptible.

“I could if Stiles didn’t have me by the shirt.”

“You’re a werewolf,” Derek says and well Scott guesses neither of them is impressed with the other’s attitude.

“He’s a Stiles.”

Derek’s eyebrows go sky high but he nods, understandably. Then takes a deep breath and ducks his head a little, tries to catch Stiles’ eyes.

“I didn’t _regret it_ ,” he mumbles, scuffs his shoe on the floor and Scott has to avert his eyes. It feels a little wrong for him to see Derek like this.

“I just- you didn’t kiss me back. And then when I did tell you I was sorry because _you didn’t kiss me back_ , you started smelling sad and ran away with the bottle of tequila. So, I got worried.”

Stiles release Scott’s shirt and leans forward. Scott can practically feel the frown against his chest.

“But- I thought,“ he makes a whining sound and shakes his head, “This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and _confused.”_

“I like you,” Derek says bluntly, “And I want to kiss you because I like you.”

“But- I thought-“

Derek huffs, “Well, you thought wrong. Idiot.”

“Oh. _Oh!”_

Stiles slaps him repeatedly on the arm, “You hear that, Scotty. Derek likes me. He likes _likes_ me. I’m likeable. I won’t have to adopt all the cats now!”

Scott claps him on the shoulder and sidesteps him, “Yeah, I heard it buddy. You should go do something about it.”

“I should- I should kiss him,” Stiles pets his cheek, “You’re so smart, Scotty.”

Stiles stumbles towards Derek and loops his arms around his neck, smiling dopily, “Don’t do that again,” he tells him seriously, “I don’t like drunk and confused. Because- because drunk and confuse means I have to adopt all the cats, okay.”

Derek snorts, “Okay,” and then kisses him again and apparently Stiles has the brilliant idea to kiss back and oh okay no actually Scott doesn’t really want to stay here and watch his brother make out with his pseudo-brother.

This is disgusting.

He makes a whining sound and shoves both of them out of the clinic, ignoring the _sounds_ and the giggling.

“Urgh, no. Out. Out with both of you. Go make out somewhere else. And Derek Hale have sex with him while he’s drunk off his mind and I’ll tell Lydia. She’ll have your _balls_ on a pretty necklace,” he threatens.

Derek nods faintly and ushers Stiles away from the clinic.

Scott sighs after both of them and sends a mass text, announcing that Boyd won the bet, before he sets to go put the kittens back in their beds.

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr and send me one of these if you feel so inclined](crossroadswrite.tumblr.com)


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